Author and Sexologist Dr Nikki Goldstein wants to teach modern women how to thrive in their dating and sex lives. Renowned for her ability to normalise the topic of sex, Dr Goldstein was voted Australia’s Best Sex Educator for 2012 and 2013. Sexologists are experts in human reproduction, sexual rights and consent, sex and gender diversity, sexual diversity and sexual health. Dr Goldstein’s patients range from those working on how to have a healthy sex life, couples learning how to communicate or people working through sexual trauma. Wanting to share her knowledge of what it means to be single and how to become ‘technosexually’ savvy, she wrote Single but Dating: A Field Guide to Dating in the Digital Age in 2017.
Originally from the Gold Coast, Dr Goldstein says she became a sexologist after working as a family mediator in Sydney, where she felt defeated by the consistent stream of people in her office “hating the person they once declared their love for. As much as I loved my job helping couples through the difficult processes of a separation, I also wanted to be part of the solution. I felt that the people coming into my office were trying to fit into a mould of what I call the ‘should dos’ when it came to a relationship. I wanted to help educate people so they could live a type of life and relationship because they wanted to, not because they felt it was expected of them,” she said.
She found that some relationships fail because people fear discussing sex with others. People therefore did not have enough information about love and sex to be in a functional relationship, so she turned her attention to sex education. “You need to know what each other want both in life and in the bedroom and be able to discuss any issues or underlying problems in the relationship. But couples need to remember to keep communicating.”
In order to improve and continue in a healthy relationship or sex life, Dr Goldstein believes communication is key. “We can often take each other for granted and continue on as though we are in a relationship with the same person from the beginning, but we do change and so do our wants and desires and this needs to be communicated as well,” she said. Dr Goldstein will be speaking at a luncheon at Fellini Restaurant at Main Beach, Gold Coast on Friday 16 March.